The Courage to Say “I Don’t Understand Yet”

The following is an illustrative example of how the three BYTS principles can apply to education and learning at any age.

You are learning something new. It might be a subject at school, a computer program at work, or a skill you have wanted to develop for years.

The explanation moves quickly. Other people nod. You nod too—but somewhere along the way, you lost the thread.

You hesitate to ask a question. “What if everyone else understands? What if I look foolish?”

So you stay quiet. Later, when you try the task on your own, you are still stuck.

What would choosing your true self look like in this moment?

Be Your True Self: Be honest about where you are

Being your true self does not require already knowing the answer. It can mean having the courage to say, “I don’t understand this part yet.”

A useful question might be: “I followed the first step, but I’m not sure how you reached the second. Could we work through that together?”

You name the gap instead of hiding it. Then you give yourself a place to begin.

The higher road here is honesty and willingness to learn. Asking for help can be part of that effort.

Keep Your Hand on FAIR: Understand the expectations

Suppose you are working on a group assignment. One person assumes everyone understands the task. Another expects a teammate to finish the difficult parts. A third is unsure what help is allowed.

Before frustration builds, discuss the expectations: Who is responsible for each part? When is it due? What resources or assistance are permitted? What should someone do if they get stuck?

Keep your commitments and follow the course or training rules. If you need an adjustment, ask rather than quietly changing the agreement.

FAIR also means making room for different learning needs. Treating people fairly may involve different forms of support while maintaining clear, appropriate standards.

Take Care of the Goose: Care for the learner and the learning process

Your education, learning tools, and relationships with teachers or mentors need attention. So do you.

In this example, care might mean setting aside a manageable practice period, organizing your materials, or asking for feedback before a misunderstanding becomes a habit.

It also means recognizing your limits. Exhaustion and shame are poor foundations for learning. A pause, a different explanation, or additional support may help you take the next step.

Your worth is greater than a grade, a certificate, or how quickly you master a skill.

If you are the one teaching

How do you respond when someone admits they are confused?

“Thank you for asking. Show me where you got stuck” invites a conversation. Ridicule can discourage the next question.

Encourage questions, explain expectations, and offer practical feedback. Keep appropriate boundaries around your time and role. Supporting a learner does not mean doing all their work for them.

Try this week

Choose one thing you are learning. Identify a specific point you do not understand, then ask a question or seek an appropriate resource.

Afterward, try applying what you learned. Notice what became clearer and what still needs practice.

Not every question will receive a helpful answer immediately. If needed, look for another suitable source of support.

Where could saying “I don’t understand yet” help you take an honest next step?

—Wayne Schmidt