Keeping your hand on FAIR means understanding what fairness requires, seeking a win for everyone involved, and following through on your responsibilities.
Fairness becomes easier to practice when expectations are clear. It becomes harder when we assume everyone understands things the same way.
Sometimes expectations are already established
A stop sign gives drivers a clear, shared expectation: stop before proceeding safely. Following that rule helps protect everyone using the road.
In faith communities, people may look to scripture, commandments, and religious teachings to understand their responsibilities.
These are examples of expectations we encounter rather than create individually. Still, an established rule deserves thoughtful examination if it causes harm or treats people unjustly.
Sometimes we need to define FAIR together
In a marriage, friendship, family, or team, many expectations need to be discussed.
How will we share responsibilities? How will we make decisions? What commitments are we making? How will we handle disagreements?
We cannot hold each other accountable for an agreement we have never clearly made.
Defining FAIR means listening, explaining our needs, and developing expectations everyone understands and can freely agree to. The goal is a win/win: an arrangement that respects everyone involved.
Fair does not always mean identical
People have different abilities, resources, responsibilities, and needs. A fair contribution may look different for each person.
Imagine a couple who have agreed on a household budget. If one spouse’s work hours are reduced, their circumstances change. Keeping their hands on FAIR means discussing the change and adjusting their plan together.
The commitment to fairness remains, even when the details of the agreement need to change.
Agreement needs honesty and respect
An agreement made through fear, pressure, or manipulation is not a sound foundation for fairness.
Everyone needs room to express concerns, disagree, and ask for changes. Keeping your hand on FAIR includes respecting boundaries and taking someone’s safety and dignity seriously.
A win/win is a goal, not a guarantee that everyone will get everything they want. Sometimes fairness requires compromise, outside help, or recognizing that an arrangement cannot continue as it is.
Accountability helps protect trust
Once expectations are clear, each person has a responsibility to make an honest effort to honor them.
When someone falls short, the next step is to acknowledge what happened, listen to its effect, and work toward repair. Accountability works best when it is mutual and respectful.
We should also revisit agreements as circumstances change. An expectation that once worked well may need another conversation.
How the three principles connect
Be Your True Self helps us approach difficult conversations with honesty, courage, and humility.
Keep Your Hand on FAIR helps us clarify expectations and honor our commitments.
Take Care of the Goose reminds us to care for the relationships and resources those commitments help sustain.
Together, these principles can strengthen trust and help us address problems before they grow.
Try it today
Choose one relationship or shared responsibility.
Ask yourself:
Have we clearly discussed what FAIR looks like—and what conversation or action would help us move toward a win/win?